There were other things I planned to write about today. My Ratty Ole Bathrobe just wasn’t in the mix. But like you, I can’t predict what’ll happen in a day. That’s the fun. Like a magnet, my pen’s attracted to the action.
When Jon returned from Nepal last fall (a poet: me!) he brought souvenirs. Good ones too. He gave me the softest blue cashmere scarf you ever saw/felt, and a beautiful pair of lapis earrings. My big guys got fun stuff too, running gloves and t-shirts. The littler boys, hand knit Nepalese ski hats, candy and cute t-shirts. Loved the hats.
Hudson’s.
Charlie’s.
The gifts were a healing salve following the stressful events while he was gone. (If you missed it, catch up here: Near Death By Elephant. )
So last night was super late at our house. We had lots going on MLK day.
No one had school. We saw the new Paddington movie, which we all (especially Hudson) thoroughly enjoyed. Errands to run, an exchange to make, basketball practice. We had a gift card from Christmas, made a day of it and ate out. Over dinner, we remembered Jon and the boys were looking at a home gym on Craig’s List. (They’re wanting to lift.) We texted, just so happened the owner was willing to show it last night. We got home, put the littles to bed, off went Jon and the boys on an hour and fifteen minute drive to check it out. They liked what they saw, then disassembled and loaded it.
Long story short, they didn’t get home ’til after 11. Then it went to the basement, piece by piece.
They were busy, and I stayed up for all the excitement too, sitting here at the kitchen counter photo editing. By the time some of us got to bed, it was nearly 1 a.m. This morning I was really lagged out, got up later than I should’ve. (So enters my Ratty Ole Bathrobe into the tale.) Pulled it on over my pj’s on the way downstairs. Please understand: at one time, this was a lovely robe. (Was being the operative word.) Baby blue flannel, ankle length L.L.Bean bathrobe. Sorry to say, I’ve abused it over the last ten years or so. Wore it nursing babies, cooking breakfast casseroles and coffee cakes. Trust me, it’s stained and ugly now, no prize. And truthfully, it embarrasses my family. (Pssst! Don’t send a new one. I’m rather attached to this old robe. Dear to my heart, comfy, it tells a story… like my stretchy orange pants. But let’s not bunny trail.)
So I wore the bathrobe downstairs, helped the bigger kids get out the door to school. Helped Charlie make his lunch, dress for the cold weather. Thought today would be a great day for him to wear that new Nepalese ski hat. (Had Paddington’s hat on the the brain.) It has cozy, warm earflaps for a frigid day like today. He loved it when he got it, but no interest today. I modeled it for him, hoping he’d change his mind. No dice. He borrowed one of my hats.
Then I got distracted working on the blog. Then mundane things like emptying the dishwasher, wiping down counters, bleaching the sink. Lo and behold, it was 9:35 and I was still at the kitchen counter in my bathrobe. We don’t get much drop-in traffic at the door, I wasn’t concerned. Until the doorbell rang. I froze, immediately recalling the monkey on my head, raccoon eyes from yesterday’s mascara…and that ugly ole’ bathrobe. I ripped off the ski hat, smoothed my hat head and tiptoed to the door, peeking behind the curtain. Thankfully (or not?) it was someone I knew, unexpectedly dropping off a CD for Jon. I cracked the door, precariously positioned myself behind it. I peered ’round, smiling small with unbrushed teeth. He was quick to go. (Wonder why?)
You’d think I’d learn my lesson, but no. I returned to the counter, quickly finishing a few more odds and ends. Ring, ring. I flinched. The doorbell. Deja vu. I peek out. Fedex with a package. Yes, I had to sign for it.
“So sorry you caught me in my bathrobe this morning.” I awkwardly signed and he was on his way.
Things happen to me in threes. You too? I sneeze in threes. So I hightailed it from the kitchen counter for a shower and street clothes, before that doorbell could even think about ringing a third time to deliver someone else to find me in my Ratty Ole Bathrobe.
People ask why unusual things always happen to me. I don’t have an answer. I think stuff happens to everyone. (Maybe I just think about it too long.)
Related post: Orange Pants
Jen says
Love it!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!!
Dan says
Allie, your blog is so good even a guy can enjoy it! Good stuff
Ellen says
❤️ your stories.
Denise says
I needed a funny story this morning! Thanks for sharing.
nancy mcmahan says
My morning laugh…thanks
Julie says
No pics of the robe OR orange pants?! 😉 lol. Thanks for the morning smile .
Allie Taylor says
Ha ha. I knew that would come up. Trust me on this one, no picture is better.
Yvette says
I really believe we all have something like that in our closets! Jon’s is a blue LL Bean warm robe from his college days which is disgusting and I loathe it. He’s traded up to a Fifth Dr. Who robe with built in scarf. My ratty robe is one of my mother’s – pink, flowered kimono style. It’s my go-to for coloring my hair, horribly stained and faded, so if I’m wearing it there’s a JOB that’s being done and I will not be answering the door, Fed Ex man or not! Mom was about 7 inches shorter than me and quite a bit wider so this robe is quite fetching. I don’t know if I ever owned the belt so it’s anyone’s best guess for what belt-like thing I might grab as a temporary. @wilabea94
Allie Taylor says
TOO FUNNY Yvette! This made me laugh. Gotta love those ratty robes.
Sarah says
Love your stories Auntie, they are encouraging, laughable and sweet. 🙂
Allie Taylor says
Thank you, dear Sarah. Love you.
Linda Jenkins says
That has happened to me so many times. I am so nervous about the sudden unexpected knock on the door that I try to hop in the shower as soon as I’ve eaten, even though I would much rather stay in my sweats and an oversize shirt. Somehow I just can’t seem to smile with ease unless I’ve showered and donned my makeup. Love the hat picture.
Aunt Pinkie says
Oh, how funny! Sadly I never get drop-ins here in PA and am still in my nighty, sans bathrobe, at noon, just having bid farewell to Jenny!
Susie says
I’m glad to know someone else gets the visitors while still in their bathrobe, heehee. That’s happened to me more than I care to admit. Charlie’s hat reminds me of Julia’s Minnie Mouse umbrella that she stopped using when she reached her teens. Guess who has it in their car in case of rain?? 😉
Nancy Hammettj says
Love all your post. Enjoyed this one.
Barbara B. says
Would like to be a fly on the wall and enjoy your unique costume arrangement as you flutter about, making breakfast, putting on a fashion show for one of your little ones leaving for school, freezing cold weather, and not cooperating in choosing his chapeau to venture out, greeting door bell ringers with a gingerly, if somewhat hesitant SMILE, then dashing into the shower coming out as THIS BEAUTIFUL TRANSFORMED BEAUTY, radiant, bright smile, shining blue eyes, face impeccably groomed, to meet a world with love and joy and spreading your charm wherever you go! Keep up the good work……….
Allie Taylor says
Why thank you Barbara. Maybe YOU should start a blog! My unique costume arrangement? LOVE IT! (flutter, flutter…ratty bathrobe and all) That’s one amazing miracle shower cocoon. I entere a caterpillar and emerge a butterfly? Flutter, flutter. ha ha!
Sarah W. says
I read your story yesterday, and I swear your stories permeate my subconscious. Last night, I dreamed that I had not showered for days and was wearing a XXL sweatshirt and ratty shorts around the house when Jake’s family showed up on my doorstep. I was horrified. My hair was a mess. I looked like a slob, etc. This is no slam on you or your lovely self. I just thought it was funny because I have been reading your stories and then having dreams of my own versions of them… if that makes sense. Love, love, love all your stories! They make me smile!
Allie Taylor says
Sarah — that’s too funny. Poor you. You must’ve been so relieved to wake up. My reality becomes your nightmare. HA! XO
Diana says
We enjoyed the “Ratty Ole Bathrobe” story. You turn everyday things that happen to you into something funny for us to enjoy and be blessed by your sense of humor. One lesson learned don’t open the door, they can drop it off!!! I got rid of my old robe & now wished I had kept it.