Ever since posting Ratty Ole’ Bathrobe, I’ve had queries about the Orange Pants. I’m actually wearing them this very minute. (No monkey hat today.)
Orange Pants by allie taylor
It’s blizzarding now and they’re by far the most comfortable, cozy pants I own, don’t know where I’d be without them. Everyone’s home today, I’m holed up in the bedroom, writing. About orange pants.
Writing, in my room with a view.
So here goes. Years ago in high school, my sweetheart’s wardrobe was not to my liking. While I really liked him, the Chess King purple shirt with the white collar and skinny gray leather tie just had to go. So I devised a scheme, a little game, whereby I’d buy him clothes for birthday and Christmas. I called it Give one, Take one; like pennies at the register. I’d give him something new (conservative), and receive carte blanche to delete an item from his closet. It worked out really well. For me.
Well just a few years down the road, I married that sweetheart. We had a few kids, moved back to the north country. Nearly ten years ago, while out shopping at T. J. Maxx, I came upon a pair of Orange Pants on the clearance rack. They were cotton sweat pants, stretchy and soft, draw string. Straight, like yoga pants.
I wasn’t too crazy about bright orange for pants, and I really didn’t care for the brand, Speedo. Speedo conjures up images I’d just as soon forget. But the pants looked comfortable for cleaning, scrubbing the tub, digging in the garden. And it was the rock bottom $5 price tag that really sucked me in. So I splurged.
I wore them as I thought I would…for cleaning the house, craft projects, making jam, etc. Once in a while I’d wear them for pajamas. Super comfy, they were a real bargain. Then I wore them around the house on occasion, you know, just if I didn’t have to go out. It was a slippery slope, almost an addiction. Because then, every once in a while I started wearing them out for a quick grocery store or ATM run. The orange pants, they just grew on me over the years. They did not, however, grow on my husband Jon, and I had no idea how strong his feelings actually were. He suggested that perhaps they had outgrown their usefulness. His little comments and insinuations revealed the orange pants had become an embarrassment.
This past Christmas Eve, he presented me with a festive Christmas package. “You really need to open this tonight,” he said. So I did.
Inside, a pretty set of pink and blue paisley flannel L.L. Bean pajamas. Thrilled me.
Until he said, “Now can we get rid of the orange pants?”
Moral of the story: Don’t manufacture games you’re not also prepared to lose.
(Surely I’m not the only one with orange pants (or equivalent) in the closet… do tell, inquiring minds want to know.)
Related post: Ratty Ole’ Bathrobe
Aunt pinkie says
Funny! Will you play the game or cheat? After all, you surely wouldn’t want to clean the tub wearing your beautiful LLBean pajamas, would you?
Laura Cook says
Aunt Pinkie poses quite the thought-provoking question, Allie! What say you?? (I do like the way she thinks…)
Yvette says
Score one for Jon! I do my housework in an apron – goes from around my neck down to my knees – so no orange pants equivalent here.
Linda Jenkins says
I, too, am curious. Will you lose the orange pants. While I don’t own orange pants, I use yoga pants or sweat pants when I clean the house. Not only are they comfortable but also something I could splash bleach on and not be upset. Not sure I could bring myself to wear them out to the store. I have up wearing aprons many, many years ago. Based on the fact that you are writing while wearing those orange pants, I am guessing you haven’t been able to part with them yet. It is hared to give up something soooo comfortable. Keep us posted.
Amie says
I’m guessing you didn’t since you said you are wearing them as you write!
nancy mcmahan says
Fair is fair. Took him this long to play the game Seems he should have full reign of the closet. Lol
Denise says
Keep the orange pants. Was Jon as attached to his purple Chess King shirt? I think not. Of course, now you have me thinking, should I give up my flood sweat pants with the hole in them? Nah!
Susie says
Hilarious!!
Barbara B. says
Am guessing you have hid the pants from your beloved – I will never tell – maybe you should only keep them for writing the blog and when he is not home, that way he will no longer have to gaze upon them and get sick????????? Orange color really wakes one up in the morning, bright, cheerful, like when the sun is not out, keeps a happy frame of mind…… Must confess I just ditched a pair of navy sweat pants used to clean etc. around the house, only mine had BIG HOLES in the seat, faded all over, thought better than to give to Good Will. even THEY WOULD REJECT THEM – UNSIGHTLY! At least yours don’t have holes, think you should keep them another 21 years SMILE
Aunt Margie says
Love the banter. The proof is in the pudding. Will you or won’t you? Hmmmm
Allie says
Good point Auntie M. The proof is in the pudding. Truth is…I haven’t trashed them yet, but maybe if he took me on a nice little shopping spree I could replace the orange ones with a color more to his liking? Because like Aunt P said, I’d sure hate to wreck the new pj’s cleaning the tub…